Faith and Death

The one thing that makes me question my faith is death. My dad died in may of 2011 and my faith was really not much help at all. I find that my faith and religious practices and studies help me live but I'm still having trouble letting people and even myself go and pass through death. Basically, I question if there is a heaven and if heaven does exist I wonder if it resembles anything at all as to what we have here on Earth. I really loose my faith on this topic as you can see.

Basically, faith helps me live but as far as helping me die or helping me handle others around me dieing or face death, it isn't helping at all.

I have a feeling that there is "life" after death in some capacity but I fear that death changes us in such a profound way that I wonder if we even recognize ourselves and our loved ones or worse, that it won't even matter.

I've changed after almost 2 years of living in Ohio vs. living in Chicago. I changed when I lived in Michigan, Virginia, and California. I can't even imagine how much heaven or living without my body as I know it now would change me.

Nothing scares me like this topic. Now that my dad has passed away, this is much more on my mind. I want to know where he is and if I'll see him again. Living with this everyday is a lot to ask. Faith? Faith isn't enough for me in this case. I need to know my dad is ok and that we'll be reunited. Until I know know, I won't be happy. At least this is how i see it today.