Finding the balance between unselfish love and self care

"Clean, unselfish love does not live on what it gets but on what it gives. It increases by pouring itself out for others, grows by self-sacrifice and becomes mighty by throwing itself away."

-Thomas Merton

However, I do feel that this sort of a quote needs to be balanced with a "You didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it!" for those of us who tend to self sacrifice in an unhealthy way under the misunderstanding that we are helping.

Somewhere in between these things is the concept of clean love but that type of love must also have equal parts of self love and self care.

This is a tough balance to find. I think it is different for each person and one has to trust one's own judgement and limits.