On Desire

OK. This one is tough. Desire.

Desire for pleasure.
Desire for life.
Desire for the end of something that is not bringing pleasure.

When we feel desire we often believe that if we attain the "thing" we want that we will be happy. However, this is a lie.

So, how do we work with this constant desire? What do we do with it? Why do we have it? Is it just to torture us?

First, we accept and surrender:

1. Accept desire as a constant and a natural thing - it isn't going away
2. Accept the object of desire to be an ever moving target
"For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not." - Cat Stevens
3. Surrender to the present moment such that if you do not have the object of your desire that you accept it and stop fighting it
4. You feel your fustration, loss and pain completely


Secondly, use your heart and your mind to explore your desire:

1. What is it you desire, really?
2. Why do you desire this?
3. Is this a habit or want based in fear? Or is the root of this desire joy and love?
4. Is this desire actualized going to bring joy and love to you and the world?

Lastly, understand that desire is the carrot in front of the cart but it isn't the final destination:

Desire is given to you for a reason. If you want something, and you believe with all of your heart and mind that your reasons are rooted in joy and love, then by all means ask for it, visualize it, and go get it. "TAKE YOUR PASSION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN" - flashdance. But, desire is the carrot. You are the horse. The destianation is only known to the universe or God.

Passion

I am a bit confused about the role passion plays in my life.

By passion I mean my drive for knowledge. That is my biggest passion.

Does the world really need more knowledge? Not really.

Well, is my drive for knowledge a good thing or a bad thing?

I mostly love mathematics recently. I seem to want to revolve my day around learning it and thinking about it.

What is the purpose of it? I don't know?

What would Buddha say to me about my drive? I think he would say that I should use it while it is useful for me but let it go when it is no longer useful. So, i'll do that.

Identity for the "self"

The "SELF" seems to want to collect things in order to build an identity that it can be proud of...

nice car
house
net worth
degrees
knowledge
spiritual advancement
friends in the right crowd (thinkers, artists, powerful people)
iPhone

but yet, we will all be dead soon and we know that none of this will matter.

What will matter when we are dead? I can't say. I really have no idea.

Maybe a better question would be, what will matter when we know we are dying?

I have to admit, i really do not know what will matter to me at that time but here are some guesses:

How well did I live?
How well did I love?
Do the people in my life know how much I appreciate them?
Did i lose myself in petty nothings or did I master the art of letting go?

What strips away when we think of our last moments on earth?

I don't think my "academic degrees" will matter but maybe how much fun I had creating and thinking.....

How is my relationship with myself? Am I at peace with myself?

How well do I know my pure essence of being? How well am I familiar with the part of me that is eternal?

You can spend your whole life working on your personal resume of desires, but at that moment when you are aware of your death, the only thing that will matter may just be how well did you love yourself through your life?

How well did you live?
How well did you love?
How well did you learn to let go?

deep thoughts,
alex